The story of Rubber Ducks, High Fives, Jury, and Anchors

At a TEDxStockholm gathering in 2022, I crossed paths with someone who profoundly altered my perspective on life and the connections we forge. His name was Chris. While he's no longer with us, the insights he shared have become a lasting treasure in my life. During one of our first fika sessions, Chris introduced me to a concept that has since deeply resonated with me: categorising the people in our lives into distinct support groups. This revelation came at a time when I was once again braving the tumultuous seas of job hunting (before launching Tjena). Chris, sharing tales from his own "100 days of unemployment" journey, shed light on the essential types of friends we all need by our side.

He spoke fondly of "high fivers," the cheerleaders in our lives; "jury," the wise advisors who aren't afraid to tell it like it is; "rubber ducks," the sounding boards for our wildest ideas; and he opened my eyes to the importance of "anchors," the steadfast presences that keep us grounded. Adopting this viewpoint has been transformative, encouraging me to be more intentional about recognising and valuing the roles my friends and acquaintances play.

A personal touch that Chris added to our friendship was his use of emojis to communicate his needs – a duck emoji whenever he wanted to bounce an idea off me, and a high five emoji when he was in need of a pick-me-up. This simple yet effective way of reaching out became a cherished part of our interaction, highlighting the playful and supportive nature of our bond.

As I shared with him my idea of adding a new category to the mix, it became apparent that we both embodied these qualities for each other. This realisation deepened our connection, reminding us of the multifaceted support we provided one another.

Chris championed the idea of forging meaningful connections. He believed in the power of pausing to assess and appreciate our personal networks, especially in the hustle of daily life. This approach has not only enriched my understanding of relationships but also highlighted the importance of each interaction.

Let's delve a bit deeper into these categories:

1. High Fivers 🙌: Imagine having a personal fan club that's always there to celebrate your victories, big or small. These are the folks who light up your day with their optimism and unwavering belief in you. Whether you're tackling a new challenge or simply need a boost, they're ready with a "you've got this" or a heartfelt "well done!"
2. Jury ⚖️: Picture a council of trusted advisors, each member offering balanced, thoughtful insights. They're the ones you turn to when faced with tough decisions, providing clarity and guidance that helps you navigate life's dilemmas. Their objective perspectives are invaluable, whether you're contemplating career moves, personal relationships, or financial strategies.
3. Rubber Ducks 🦆: Borrowing from a quirky problem-solving technique in programming, these are the friends who listen as you work through your thoughts and ideas, no matter how outlandish they may seem. They don't necessarily have to solve your problems but being there to hear you out can spark the clarity you need. Chris and I would often exchange duck emojis when brainstorming was in order, adding a layer of fun to our problem-solving sessions.
4. Anchors ⚓: These individuals are your emotional bedrock. In times of turmoil or doubt, they offer a sense of peace and stability, reminding you of what truly matters. Their unwavering support and calm demeanour help you weather the storms of life with grace.

Inspired by Chris's teachings and our shared qualities, I've introduced a new category: Obsidian Rock Stars™ 🪨. These exceptional people embody the qualities of all the above groups. They're akin to obsidian—strong, protective, and refined. They're your all-in-one support system, offering encouragement, wisdom, a listening ear, and grounding influence whenever you need it.

As I honour Chris's memory, I invite you to reflect on your own circle of support. Identify your "High Fivers," "Jury," "Rubber Ducks," "Anchors," and perhaps your "Obsidian Rock Stars." Let them know how much they mean to you and the unique role they play in your life. Chris's legacy is a reminder of the profound impact meaningful relationships can have, teaching us to cherish and nurture these bonds every day.

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